Baby Sleep Training – Seven Tips for Success
There are a number of baby sleep training techniques recommended by parents as well as baby sleep experts. You’ve probably heard of “controlled crying”, “cry it out”, “gradual retreat/withdrawal”, “Return and Check” and also “the No Cry Sleep Solution”. These are the most commonly mentioned forms of baby sleep training.
Usually, parents are seeking a way to teach their baby to sleep through the night that doesn’t involve any crying. This is understandable. But once a baby has developed some habits which cause her to wake at night, such as feeding to sleep, needing a night feed for comfort rather than hunger, wanting you to replace the dummy for her throughout the night and so on, it is very difficult to change this without a little crying.
Despite what you may read in some books or articles on the internet, there is no absolute right way to teach a baby to sleep through the night. In fact, in a recent study, researchers found that it doesn’t matter what baby sleep training technique parents choose – they all work, so long as there is consistency in the approach.
If you’ve decided that you can no longer bear the sleep deprivation, here are some tips that will help you start sleep training your baby successfully.
1 – Think of the goal of your baby sleeping through the night as a destination. You are embarking on a journey when you start sleep training and it’s important to focus on where you're going.
Depending on the sleep training technique you choose, and how your baby responds, you will make progress either quickly or slowly, but always bear in mind that you are moving towards the final destination. This way, if your baby doesn’t sleep through on night three of your sleep training programme, you will have the strength to keep going.
2 – Choose a baby sleep training technique that you will be happy to use again. Even after you have sleep trained your baby, and she is sleeping blissfully through the night, she may develop bad habits in the future.
You may go on holiday which can disrupt her sleep or she may pick up a virus. At these times we all revert to holding our babies or feeding them in the night. It only takes three nights for a new sleep association to establish itself as "the way we do things arounf here" in your baby's eyes! Which means you may need to sleep train again, and this is why it’s so important you can fall back on the sleep training technique you used before.
Parents who use the “cry it out” sleep training method often say it worked for a while, but following a holiday or bad cold their baby stopped sleeping through and they didn’t know what to do. They couldn't bear to go through the process of allowing their baby to “cry it out” again. But there are other sleep training techniques which work more effectively.
3 – Choose a baby sleep training technique that you can cope with. If you’re exhausted, at your wits end, perhaps even feeling angry with your baby, the “Gradual Withdrawal” sleep training method may make things worse. This baby sleep training technique can often take up to 10 days and sitting in the nursery with your baby screaming at you is not easy at the best of times, let alone when you're sleep deprived.
On the other hand, closing the door and allowing your baby to cry in the dark alone for as long as it takes her to fall asleep may be intolerable for you.
Decide how big a leap you can take when you first start out and stick with that, perhaps increasing it as you gain confidence. Supporters of the Baby Whisperer’s technique, “Pick Up Put Down”, say this method helped them to teach their babies to sleep because they were able to stay with them. This baby sleep training method involves picking up and holding a distressed baby until she is calm, and then putting her straight back down in the cot.
This may happen 50 times in the first night but slowly reduces each night until baby eventually falls asleep by herself. For some babies this works incredibly well, and it means that parents don’t feel as though they’re abandoning their baby. It’s as big a leap as they’re able to take.
Other babies become over stimulated by the repeated contact and work themselves into a frenzy, kicking and hitting, which can be distressing for everyone. If you have a baby like this, you may find the Return and Check baby sleep training method works better for you.
4 – Keep a baby sleep diary for at least a week before you start. This will help you to identify issues and choose the best solution for you and your family. Continue the diary while you are sleep training and you will be able to see the progress you’re making which will encourage you to keep moving towards your goal of a baby who sleeps through the night.
5 – Don’t feel that you are doing this for your needs only. That will only make you feel guilty. Your baby needs good sleeping habits as much as she needs a healthy diet and loving relationships. Your decision to help your baby learn to self-soothe has been made for the whole family and the outcome will be positive for you all.
6 – When your baby is awake, give her lots of loving attention. Even though you may be tired and feeling snappy and irritable (you are only human!), loving and positive attention will help her to feel secure at night and also make it easier for you to see the changes through and remain consistent.
7 – Stay calm. Your baby has no idea how to fall asleep without the sleep prop you have taken away, or the habit you’re trying to break. If she is crying, it’s because she’s tired and she wants you to put things back the way they were so that she can fall asleep.
If you become distressed or angry, she will pick up on this and it will only make things worse. By staying calm and matter of fact about it all, she will be still be upset, but she won’t be frightened.
For more advice on baby sleep training techniques, take a read of the following articles and blog posts:
Baby Sleep Training - Return and Check Baby Sleep Training - Gradual Withdrawal |