An overtired 3month old who resists daytime sleeping & won't self settle

Submitted by Gill on Fri, 09/02/2011 - 09:17

Baby 0-18 Months

Please can I ask advice on my 3 month old. I feel I've probably created this problem by always in the early weeks rocking my baby to sleep & holding her while she sleeps during the day. At night we would rock her into a deep sleep then put her in her cot. Over the last 3 weeks however she has been doing well with a bedtime routine & settling into her cot awake but sleepy by 6-7pm. She falls asleep by herself with a comforter, although occasionally I need to go back in to settle her 1-2 times before she finally falls asleep. However daytime sleeps are getting worse. She resists falling sleeping whilst tired but not yet overtired even on me. I then have to rock a hysterically screaming baby for 5-20 mins until she falls into an exhausted sleep lasting anything from 30mins to 2hrs, usually the shorter duration. She used to fall asleep in her bouncy chair or on sofa beside me but not now. The car or a walk are still working but not something I want to have to do every day for every nap. She hasn't been used to being in her cot during the day but I thought I would try doing this the last 2 days. However on the couple of occasions I've tried this she's become more hyper & worked herself up to crying after 20-30 mins with me occasionally going in to shush her & sing quietly to her which is what I do for her bed routine. I've then given up & picked her up & got her to sleep as above.. She seems to spend most of the day tired at present, rarely coping with more than an hour of wakefulness in a happy, settled state so I've been trying to get her to sleep from 1hr after she wakes. Her routine is roughly:

5.30-6.30am wakes
6.30-8 naps but usually only 30-40 mins length
8-9 feed
9.30-11 naps again from 30 mins to 1 hr
12-2 naps again depending on duration of last nap
1-3 feed
3-5 naps & if a good day can get 1-2 hrs of nap.
6-7 feed, bedtime
2-3 am feed
Sometimes she doesn't want her 6-7 feed & then feeds at 11-12mn instead. Then her early feed shifts to 4am.
Please help as I don't know how to break this pattern of behaviour with her resisting daytime sleep & then being continually rocked from a hysterical state into sleep. I'm exhausted!
Thanks.
Gill

Hi Gill, Are you

Submitted by Lucy on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 11:03.

Hi Gill,

Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? Have you ever fed your baby to sleep and if you tried to would it work do you think? Or is the rocking the only thing that will work? When you say she falls asleep with a comforter, do you mean dummy? When you have taken your daughter to her cot for a sleep in the day, what have you done? Do you put her down in the cot or do you have any sleep cues that you use? i.e. dark room, soothing sleep sounds, little nap time routine etc?

Lucy x

Hi, Thanks for replying. She

Submitted by Gill on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 10:28.

Hi, Thanks for replying. She is bottle fed. She used to feed to sleep in the first 6-8 weeks but it wouldn't work now. I use both a dummy & a small blanket soother in her cot. Over the last 2 weeks she has improved in that she is settling to sleep with less hysterical crying during the day. I think I'm catching her earlier before she's overtired. However she is still settling on me. I can occasionally put her down once asleep, if deeply asleep, but usually she wakes within 5mins. I haven't retried getting her to sleep in her cot during daytime at present as we are doing a long haul flight next week & I didn't want to persevere with a daytime cot routine when 2 flights & visiting relatives was likely to disrupt it again so quickly. However I would like to try & wean her off me at nap time when I return in 3 weeks. On the occasions when I tried her in her cot in daytime I closed the curtains & sang softly to her & then sat beside her for a few mins, then left the room but popped back when I heard her working herself up. At these times I shushed her, patted her & sang again, then left. I guess my other concern is if I push the daytime cot routine will it start to unsettle her bed routine which remains overall very good. I don't want to affect that as she now sleeps thro' from 6-7 until 5-5.30. Any advice welcomed! Thanks! Gill

Hi Gill, It sounds like

Submitted by Lucy on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 14:27.

Hi Gill,

It sounds like it's a good idea to wait until you get back. The key thing is that your baby has learned how to fall asleep by herself at bedtime and she sleeps well through the night so you know she can do it. Keep that up because she will then have the skill to draw on when you get back and start teaching her how to sleep in the day.

Teaching her to sleep in her cot in the day shouldn't affect her night time sleep unless she becomes overtired. When you are back and ready to do this, start by using the technique you have already found that works and work on her first nap of the day. In three weeks' time, she will probably be ready for this after 1.5 hours of being awake. For the rest of the day, you can try doing the same thing but if she isn't napping and is becoming overtired then do whatever you need to do to keep her well rested so that her night sleep isn't affected.

Then when you have the morning nap sorted, be consistent with the second nap. She should be ready for this after about 1hr and 45 mins to 2 hours (in 3 weeks' time). And then when that nap is sorted, start on the next nap. The final nap of the day will be short and so it's a good idea to have that in the buggy, car etc as you will, after all, need to go out!

Your sleep cues of closing the curtains and singing softly before leaving are great. You may also want to try some soothing sleep sounds that she can keep listening to when you're gone. Maybe a little more preparationf or nap time woudl help as well - such as a cuddle and story and a little bottle of milk to help her become drowsy.

I think the following articles would help you:

Baby and Toddler Sleep Routines Made Easy

Nap Time - the key to success

How much should my baby sleep?

Hope this helps. Let me know how it goes and have a good trip!

Lucy