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5 month old sleep problems during the night
Hello
I would love some advice on how to manage by babies sleep. He is 21 weeks old so just over 5months. He has woken frequently during the night since birth and was very congested during the early weeks so could only sleep when upright this meant we spent a lot if time holding him on our chests while he slept. Hes not congested anymore but we still have problems getting him back to sleep during the night. He has a god bedtime routine which is bath, feed, story bed about 6.30-7. He then sleeps til about 11 has a feed and eventually falls asleep after being cudddled to sleep He then wakes about 1am and the nightmare begins he won't take much milk so it appears that he isn't hungry but will only sleep in my arms he wakes every time I put him back in the cot this goes on for up to 2 hours. He will then usually fall asleep out of exhaustion but only for about 1-1 and a half hours then the same process starts again. I often go and sleep downstairs with him at this point on our sofa bed and he will normally fall asleep with me while being cuddled until about 5.30-6.
He has 3 naps a day so that part of his routine is good, a short nap 45min- 1 hour a couple of hours after rising then a 2 hour nap around lunchtime then a short 45min to hour nap about 4pm then bed at 6.30-7pm. He mainly falls asleep in my arms for his naps but will sometimes fall asleep in the pram.
Any advice or suggestions much appreciated.
Just to add we live in a 1 bed flat so his cot is in a dark corner of our room.
Thanks
Rachel
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Reply
Hi Rachel,
I assume that your son is put down at bed time having been cuddled to sleep to? Most of us do these things as a necessity when our babies are ill or teething, the tricky bit is breaking those bad habits when they're better!
By the sounds of it your son is just unable to settle himself to sleep at this stage. We all wake up at the end of a sleep cycle but usually go straight back to sleep. If your baby can't settle himself back to sleep he'll wake up and need comforting very time.
Your son's amount of daytime sleep sounds ok, at this age he needs around 3 3/4 hours in the day and 11 at night. I think you need to have a look at different sleep training techniques to see which one you think you could stick to in order to start teaching your baby to settle himself to sleep at naptimes and bed time. You will be surprised how quickly they learn to self settle and at what a big difference it makes to night time sleep. Once he's cracked going to sleep by himself you can address night waking (you may not need to by this stage as he may be settling at night too).
Have a look at these articles:
How to Avoid Feeding Your Baby to Sleep
,
Baby Sleep Training - Return and Check
,
Baby Sleep Training - Gradual Withdrawal
.
I'm guessing that you will find the Gradual Withdrawal method most appealing as it seems less harsh to most parents and is a quieter method (which I should imagine will appeal when your baby is in your room!).
Once you've had a look at the different techniques available, make sure that your son's cot is comortable and he feels secure and safe. At nap and bed times follow your usual routine but make sure he is awake when you put him down. It WILL be hard to start with but it will get easier. You and your partner must be in agreement about what you're going to do and stick to it; that way your baby will learn that he needs to go to sleep. Breaking the rules, even if you are tired, will send confusing messages to your son.
During the night, feed him at 11 as normal if he is genuinely hungry but try delaying going to him straight away. Delay going to him immediately at one aswell, if you can, and don't even offer him milk. On the subject of night waking, can you let me know what your son does at night when he wakes (does he scream immediately?).
The key is to teach your baby to settle in his own cot by himself so that his cot becomes an environment he can trust, rather than him falling asleep in your arms and waking up somewhere different!
I hope that helps, keep me posted on how things are going and let me know if you need more advice or want me to clarify something. With consistency and patience you should have a self settling baby within a week!
Warmest Wishes,
Adilla
Hi Adilla In answer to your
Hi Adilla
In answer to your question my son doesn't sream when he wakes he just starts moving around then wimpers a bit if I don't go to him it esclates into a cry. Can I also ask your advice on the lighting in the room. We have a blackout blind but there is some light still coming in from another small window he still wakes even if the room is dark. My partner thinks that the room is too dark and that he wakes up beause he is frightenned could this be the case.
thank you
Reply
Hi Rachel,
With regard to the room being very dark, your son may wake up frightened or disorientated. He's being cuddled to sleep and the next thing he knows he's waking up somewhere dark and relatively unfamiliar. Blackout blinds can be a life saver for some parents but they're probably best used if your child is used to settling themselves; darkness can provide a sleep association so that the baby knows when it's dark it's time to sleep (great until you go camping!!!).You may want to try keeping things a little bit lighter at night until your son is used to settling himself. I would try something along the gradual withdrawal method. Once you are in bed too, try just 'shushing' your son rather than getting him out of the cot immediately.
With my two they go to sleep in the dark but the landing light goes on when I go to bed so that they don't wake up scared. I also remember once, in desperation getting into my daughter's cot with her as our rule was that she never came out of the cot at night (but there was nothing to say I couldn't get IN!).
Once you have got your son settling himself to sleep in the darkened room he should be fine when he wakes between sleep cycles, as the environment will be familiar to him.
I hope that helps...
Warm Wishes,
Adilla