At about 18 months, many parents agree that their toddlers sleep less well than usual for naps and at night time. In their brilliant book, The Wonder Weeks, Hetty Vanderijt and Frans Plooij refer to a development leap between 18 and 21 months, which results in what they call “fussy behaviour”. Parents have come to call this “the 18 month sleep regression”.
At around 18 months of age, toddlers are truly on the go from morning to night. No longer just walking, many are running, jumping and climbing. They are able to imitate older siblings and adults, and language development suddenly takes off with many toddlers being able to use hundreds of words (although we might not recognise them all just yet). It still surprises me a little when I ask my 18 month old, Frankie, to do something , like fetch me some socks from the drawer, and he does it without hesitation.
No wonder then, that with all this going on, their sleep is disrupted. I have found that toddlers at this age often become exhausted, waking frequently at night and struggling to nap for very long in the day. (more…)
The recent media coverage of Penelope Leach’s new book, The Essential First Year – What Babies Need Parents to Know, has focused on this sensational headline –
“Crying-it-out Harms Babies Brains.”
This media coverage is tough on the sleep deprived mother who hears that on the one hand that, if she doesn’t do something about her sleepless baby, he will probably grow into a sleepless child who will have problems with his weight and/or behaviour. And on the other hand, if she allows him to cry until he figures out how to fall asleep by himself, it may harm his brain.
I think it’s safe to say there’s a middle ground, which might be called “common sense parenting”. As parents we are faced with choices that we have to make on behalf of our children on a daily basis and these choices have to take into account the needs of our whole family. (more…)
If we’re honest, we sometimes feel guilty as parents, right?
My two small people were poorly last night with a tummy bug and awake for most of the night. So I’m tired today. Snappy and grouchy. I’m looking forward to 7:30pm when I can close the boys’ bedroom door and have some grown up time watching Eastenders. Yes, I watch it, it’s true.
But I know it won’t work like that. I’ll feel guilty instead. Cross with myself for all the times I was irritated in the day, sorry for responding grumpily, for rushing through bedtime and hurrying my little children into bed. I’ll want to get them back out of bed and tell them just how much I love them.
Of course I’m only human, and who spends the day feeling like Pollyanna when they’re seriously sleep deprived? It’s the curse of being a mum – feeling guilty for not being perfect. (more…)
We’re in London this week, exhibiting at Top Drawer, a very fun trade show. And I’m staying at my parents’ house with the boys. The three of us have been sharing a room since Friday night. It’s noisy here. Aeroplanes, car alarms, police sirens… stuff we’re not used to in peaceful North Devon.
So we’re not sleeping too well. In fact, I’m barely sleeping at all. It must be me in the room with them or something, but they seem to keep rousing and then fully waking. “Mummy, what’s that noise?” says Laurie about four times a night, causing Frankie to open his eyes and promptly wail. (more…)
