The recent media coverage of Penelope Leach’s new book, The Essential First Year – What Babies Need Parents to Know, has focused on this sensational headline –
“Crying-it-out Harms Babies Brains.”
This media coverage is tough on the sleep deprived mother who hears that on the one hand that, if she doesn’t do something about her sleepless baby, he will probably grow into a sleepless child who will have problems with his weight and/or behaviour. And on the other hand, if she allows him to cry until he figures out how to fall asleep by himself, it may harm his brain.
I think it’s safe to say there’s a middle ground, which might be called “common sense parenting”. As parents we are faced with choices that we have to make on behalf of our children on a daily basis and these choices have to take into account the needs of our whole family. (more…)
Noun 1. lie-in – a long stay in bed in the morning. A much coveted event in the world of parenting small children.
Before babies, you may have dreamed about exotic holidays or romantic weekend getaways. After babies, a proper lie-in is probably the ultimate luxury. Two or three extra hours of undisturbed, blissful sleep to make you human again, to give you a little extra energy for the week ahead.
Which is why we have a great rule in our house. My husband and I get one lie-in each per week. Of course, the reality of a lie-in for each of us is just a touch different. (more…)
In another life, before children, I worked in Human Resources, so I’m always interested in the changes to employment law that come through in April each year.
The legislation to introduce additional paternity leave and pay will be effective for children born after 3 April 2011. This new law will mean dads can take off three months’ paid leave at the end of mum’s nine months so that she can return to work. He can also then take a further 3 months’ unpaid paternity leave.
I can see this legislation is a good thing for families. Especially since it increases the time that mum and dad can spend with their new baby – although the statutory maternity/paternity pay is unlikely to come close to the income most parents earn when going out to work.
When I left work in January 2006, a naive mother to be, I’d already filled in my maternity plan. I was going back to work six months after my baby was born on a full time basis. I was even viewing the six months off as a bit of a holiday! (more…)
If we’re honest, we sometimes feel guilty as parents, right?
My two small people were poorly last night with a tummy bug and awake for most of the night. So I’m tired today. Snappy and grouchy. I’m looking forward to 7:30pm when I can close the boys’ bedroom door and have some grown up time watching Eastenders. Yes, I watch it, it’s true.
But I know it won’t work like that. I’ll feel guilty instead. Cross with myself for all the times I was irritated in the day, sorry for responding grumpily, for rushing through bedtime and hurrying my little children into bed. I’ll want to get them back out of bed and tell them just how much I love them.
Of course I’m only human, and who spends the day feeling like Pollyanna when they’re seriously sleep deprived? It’s the curse of being a mum – feeling guilty for not being perfect. (more…)
Parents of small children have to make a lot of decisions. Issues like breast or bottle feeding, whether to let your under two watch Cbeebies, should you stay at home or work, what school should kiddo go to…. Every step along the way involves parents deciding what they feel is best for their child.
I find the bigger stuff easier than the day to day issues. Hubby and I are pretty much agreed on nutrition, schooling, TV watching, activities and so on… But the day to day decision making is harder. My little people test the boundaries of my decision making hourly. From my nearly four old who wants, wants, wants NOW, to my nearly one year old who’s happiest stuffing toilet paper down the loo when I’m not looking, I am constantly checking my reactions, deciding how to respond.
I have a rule I follow when making decisions, which I learned from Suzy Welch’s book, 10-10-10 and it works. Basically, whenever I have a decision to make, I ask myself what the consequences of my decision will be in ten minutes time, in ten months time and in ten years. Hence the title, 10-10-10. (more…)
We’re in London this week, exhibiting at Top Drawer, a very fun trade show. And I’m staying at my parents’ house with the boys. The three of us have been sharing a room since Friday night. It’s noisy here. Aeroplanes, car alarms, police sirens… stuff we’re not used to in peaceful North Devon.
So we’re not sleeping too well. In fact, I’m barely sleeping at all. It must be me in the room with them or something, but they seem to keep rousing and then fully waking. “Mummy, what’s that noise?” says Laurie about four times a night, causing Frankie to open his eyes and promptly wail. (more…)
Looking back over 2009, there were many highs, a good few lows, some stuff I’m proud of, and some regrets too. Of course the birth of Frankie was my highlight of 2009. The achievement of labour followed by the silent moment with my newborn as he fed for the first time in hospital, his head warm and new against my chest.
I could enjoy it more this time. Not so overwhelmed and vulnerable as I felt when Laurie arrived three years earlier. But the first time was perfect in a different way. I remember gazing at Laurie in absolute awe as he slept between John and I, both crouched either side of him on the hospital bed. In that utterly peaceful moment, we just did not have a clue about the chaos that was about to commence. (more…)
