Baby Sleep Training - Gradual Withdrawal

If you have a baby who has never slept through the night and has always been “parented to sleep” through rocking, feeding or holding, you may prefer to start your baby sleep training with the gradual withdrawal method. This will help build your baby’s trust in you and give her time to learn how to fall asleep independently, keeping bedtime safe and secure.

This is also the best method for you to use if you will find your baby’s crying unbearable, or if you don’t believe your baby would cope with the Return and Check baby sleep training method.

It is, however, important to remember that some babies need a little space to learn how to fall asleep and you being there could make it harder for your little one. You know your baby best so read through the below, take some time to consider the baby sleep training technique, Return and Check, and decide which would work best for you and your baby.

Once you have established a good baby bedtime routine, take your baby into her safe sleep environment and then do what you would normally do to help your baby fall asleep - rocking, feeding etc. But just as she becomes drowsy, put her down into the cot to fall asleep by herself. Then sit down on a chair next to the cot and wait for your baby to go to sleep.

She may protest, cry or try to engage with you. The only way this process will work is if you are absolutely matter of fact about things and remain very boring. Every now and then remind your baby that it’s time to go to sleep, choose some sleep time words which you repeat, and just sit there and wait.

If you find this very distressing, and sometimes it can be harder for both of you if you stay in the room, then you may prefer to use the Return and Check baby sleep training method.

If not, stick with it and eventually your baby will fall asleep. Once you are certain she is sleeping, you can leave the room. Should she wake again that night, I suggest you do whatever you need to do to help your baby get back to sleep.

The following night, move the chair a little away from the cot and follow the process exactly as you did the previous night. Each night move the chair a little further towards the door.

When following this sleep training technique, it’s really important you remain consistent and also calm. If you become agitated or upset, your baby will pick up on it and this will make it harder for you both. Remember that you are right there with your baby. She may be cross or upset, even confused. You are asking her to learn a whole new way of falling asleep. But she won’t be afraid whilst you are calm and consistent.

Finally, you will reach a night when you move the chair outside of the room. This will be the hardest night as your baby will probably protest the loudest when she can’t see you. But by now she will know that you are consistent and she will probably go to sleep more quickly than you expect.

After this, you can put your baby to bed each night and leave the room while she falls asleep independently. It very often follows that night waking stops or reduces significantly because your baby has learned to put herself to sleep. Give it a few nights to see if things improve by themselves.

If your baby continues to wake in the night, you can either follow the gradual withdrawal baby sleep training method described above, or use the Return and Check baby sleep training technique.